Wednesday 22 November 2017

A Real-Life Catholic Love Story - Part 9 of 13 - Entering Into an Intentional Relationship

Part 1 - Life Before Love
Part 2 - When Thomas Met Genevieve
Part 3 - Thomas Falls in Love
Part 4 - God makes Genevieve Some Promises
Part 5 - Two Years Pass
Part 6 - Time for a Change
Part 7 - The Pre-Date Date

Part 9 - Entering Into an Intentional Relationship


After the date, Genevieve remembered someone telling her, “It’s either a yes, a no or a maybe.” She felt like it was a maybe. She didn’t know if she liked him just because he was a guy who was pursuing her, or if she liked HIM. He asked her out on another date pretty soon. He surprised her again by taking her to her favourite place to eat in the States, Chik-Fil-A. Genevieve was really nervous because she wanted to be very honest with him. 

She told him “I don’t know how I feel. It’s not a yes, it’s not a no.” But Thomas was okay with that. It seemed like they were both on the same page. Thomas told her the only thing he knew was that he liked her. He didn’t know if he was supposed to marry her. They realized that they didn’t have to have things figured out beforehand, but that they could figure them out together.

Genevieve headed for a retreat, and Thomas headed home. They were apart in the US for a month and a half. Before Thomas left, he asked Genevieve, “Can I call you?” So during that time, he would call her at first once a week, and then twice a week. Once he told her, “You can call me too.” Genevieve would get excited and wait for his phone calls. But she still wasn’t sure. Part of the problem was how she felt about the height difference. But she had a prayer time on January 3rd that changed everything for her.

Excerpt from her journal:

‘God wants a husband for me that will every day draw me closer to Him. God’s desire for my husband is NOT so I can take glory in how perfect we look together because my identity is not my husband, but in being a child of God. God doesn’t want a husband for me so we can be a power couple, rely on his parents’ wealth, find my status in his degree or job, look to him for strength. No, God does not want my identity coming from my relationship but from Christ alone. So my husband may not be a Division 1 athlete or wealthy. Good.

My husband will have weaknesses, he will struggle, he won’t complete me, and he will not make up for all my weaknesses. That’s not God’s plan. My husband WILL draw me closer to Christ every day, that’s God’s perfect plan. What I used to desire in a husband stemmed out of things I wanted to get my identity from. They were not pure. I planned on using my husband to make me look better, feel better about myself and have everyone think more highly of me. I did not have pure intentions. God disregards the ridiculous desires that draw me away from Christ and He has given me Thomas to show me He desires a pure and holy man after His own heart that will lead me closer to Christ. That is God’s end goal, not for me to be the envy of my friends or to get more Instagram likes.’


In the past she thought she had to give her boyfriend a reason to brag about her. So she used her body, she felt like she needed to be the hottest girlfriend, she wore immodest clothes, she had expensive shoes. She would cry sometimes from all the pressure she put on herself while getting ready for dates. But now something had changed—she was finding her identity as a daughter of God. That prayer time helped her realize that her criteria for choosing a husband had changed. With this shift of perspective, she was now able to accept Thomas as he was rather than needing him to make up for her low self-esteem. Genevieve realized he could be his own unique person and she could be hers. She was able to let go of the hesitation because of the height difference. (She also noticed that a lot of celebrity women dated men who were shorter than them.) Now Genevieve knew that she liked him, but she didn’t want to tell him on the phone. She decided to wait till they were back at the base.

Meanwhile Thomas was having his own struggles at home. Initially he was overwhelmed by God’s goodness as he realized that God had prepared them for a relationship by giving them four years of a solid foundation of friendship. But soon after, the fears attacked again... fear that he didn’t like her enough, that she wasn’t the right woman for him, that he was leading her on. He started sharing some of his struggles with his mom. She listened, and then told him, “You should tell Genevieve about your struggles.”

Thomas knew that that was the right thing to do, God had been telling him that for a while. But he was reluctant to because he had once shared his fears with another girl years before and she had kicked him out of her car. “If I share my fears, maybe this whole thing is over.” But God kept telling him to have hope.

So one day he called her. “Could I could talk with you about something?”

Genevieve got a little nervous, wondering if he was calling it off. But as Thomas shared, she was able to respond with peace, “Your fears don’t bother me at all.”

Genevieve could see that God was doing something good with their relationship already. “When I shared with my friends and family how you had told me I was worthy of being pursued, it touched many of them in a deep way. I don’t know if we’re supposed to get married, but we don’t have to be afraid of that because I can see that right now God is being glorified by our relationship.”

Thomas was relieved and wowed by Genevieve all over again. “This woman is awesome!”

It was a game changer for him. Each time fears attacked him, he was able to share it with her and she was able to calm him. He also realized that the Lord was telling him, “You have to date her in order to know if marriage is what I’m calling you to. You can’t know for sure without dating her.” So he had peace about moving forward. He also realized that as he grew closer to her, his concerns about her being taller than him faded into the background, and became a non-issue.

They returned to the base in the last week of January, and the same night he asked her on a date. The next day they went over to JP and S’s house which they lent them for the date, and he made Genevieve her favourite dinner. After dinner, they went to a waterfront and she told him that she liked him.

Thomas had heard from JP and S that Genevieve didn’t like the term ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ because it had a bad association for her, so he picked his words carefully.

“Will you be in an intentional relationship with me?”

Her answer was a peace filled “That would be awesome.”

Thomas smiled back, “It would be.”

That night they went to the Adoration Chapel, and thanked the Lord out loud for their relationship. It was the beginning of a new season of their lives.

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